Pic Dump

Finally got my PopSugar box and my Diamond Candle (yay!) that I ordered.

This month brought a Nicholas Sparks' novel Safe Haven (*snort*), Sweethearts, dark chocolate pearls from MarieBelle New York, Connoisseurs Quick Jewelry Cleanser, Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Lip Stain in Romantic, a bright yellow (and actually cute) pair of Hanky Panky underroos and a Brokedown Wrap for after a shower.

I pay $35 a month for the box, this is my second one and I'm pretty happy about it so far.  You can get your own at https://musthave.popsugar.com/ and if you use the code REFERFRIENDS you'll get $5 off your first box!

Then I also got my Diamond Candle today

Smells so good I wanna eat it.

The diamond.  At least, it better be!

If you haven't heard of these, each candle you order has a ring inside it.  It's worth either $10, $100, $1000 or $5000.  Plus, they're all natural.  Go here if you're intrigued: http://www.diamondcandles.com/

Honestly, these candles smell so flipping good, they'd be worth it even without the ring.  I'll be sure to snap a pic of which one I got.

As for my elbow, this is what it looked like yesterday:

I think I might miss him when he's gone.

At least, I'm pretty sure it was from yesterday.  I've taken so many damn photos of the thing that I'm losing track.

Last, but certainly not least, here was my pitty, sleeping on me last night.

Long days of eating and farting are tiring.

All for now, XOXO.

I hurt my Leno.

My phone won't stop autocorrecting "elbow" into "Leno" so I decided to just go with it.

Here's a quick update to show you all how my Leno is doing (last post explains what happened).

Basically, I feel fine and I have almost full use of it.  I can't put a lot of weight on it but generally I forget it's even there.  Until I whack it on the door or something.  Then I remember it real quick.  But, generally, it feels like normal.

It is about the gnarliest bruise ever, I think.

I come in technicolor!  My friend thought I was dumb
because I didn't make my 'tech-nicole-r' joke here.  Happy now?

Now I just have to deal with the fact that my dog is clearly trying to kill me.

The culprit.

Do not let the sweet, remorseful face fool you.  Behind those eyes resides a heart of stone and the soul of a ginger.

Talk to you guys soon.  Unless she smothers me in my sleep or something.

ETA And here is a video of 2 dogs that probably won't try to kill their owner.  Though seriously, it's one of the most adorable videos ever.

A little something I like to call 'dogma'

Hey darlings.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much lately.  Honestly, I've been pretty busy.  Just not busy with anything that is even close to interesting.

I've mostly been Spring cleaning, reorganizing my place, running overdue errands and the like.  

The most eventful thing that happened to me was Lila yanked my feet out from under me when I was going down the (marble) stairs on my way to let the dogs out.

I didn't fall down the stairs, but I landed on my ass, elbow first.

This is how my right elbow (and normally my left elbow) looks:

Yep.  That's an elbow.

And this is what my left elbow looks like right now.

Looks like an alien is about to burst out.

That was last night.  Tonight it has some lovely shades of purple, maroon, violet and indigo going on.  I'm a walking art piece.

A deformed, walking art piece.

Anyway.  Onto the dogma.

If you're wondering, this is a term that my friend made up (not having to do with religion, btw) that is a mix between 'dog' and 'karma'.

Dogma!

Lila loves to fart.  Loves it.  And when she does, she goes all wiggly and pretends to be embarrassed while dancing around.  She's not fooling anyone though.  She thinks it's fucking hilarious.

And that whole thing would be cute if I wasn't busy hanging my head out the window and gasping for oxygen.

Earlier tonight she had horrible gas.  Horrible.  Like, a cross between mustard gas and the sulfur emissions from the deepest parts of Hades.  But less pleasant.

So, she was snoozing away, curled up into a tight little pitty ball like she likes to do when I hear this long, little "Pffft!"

I look over to see that she farted.  In her own face.  To which that lovely, signature aroma of her's woke her up.  She farted herself awake.

Of course, the pussy didn't stick around.  I swear her eyes were watering as she ran from the room.  Not so funny, is it??

Dogma, bitch!

I think I laughed for about 20 minutes.  

Now, as an apology for being so boring lately, here's a video that's been making the rounds lately.  I normally wouldn't post a vid like this, as I would feel bad for the video creator, but since she posted it herself, I say hey, why not?

Enjoy.

2 Cent Saturday

On a Monday.

Yeah, I know.  I fail at life.  I was super busy this weekend so I just didn't have a minute to sit down and type it out.

But I thought about it a lot.  

Alright, so here's my $0.02.

The Carnival Cruise Triumph disaster?  Not a fucking disaster.

Don't get me wrong.  It sounds like it was an incredibly horrible, awful, gross experience.  But it was NOT a disaster.  Or a tragedy.

A disaster is that bitch Hurricane Sandy rolling up the East Coast and destroying countless homes, neighborhoods and towns.  Where an entire house filled with everything a family owned, all the memories and childhood experiences that that home contained, being scattered to the wind.

A tragedy is some psychopath like Adam Lanza taking out his mother and then rolling up into and elementary school and gunning down 26 innocent people.  20 of them being children.  Fucking children.  That's a tragedy.

The Triumph?  That was a fiasco.  A unpleasant, unsanitary and stressful fiasco that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Except maybe mouth breathers. 

But no one lost their lives, their homes and no one's family was ripped apart.  So stop calling it a disaster.  And definitely don't call it a tragedy.

But, again, that's just my $0.02.

Agree?  Disagree?  Wish I'd get stuck out in the ocean on a quasi-luxury cruise ship?  Let me know in the comments!  

XOXO

Funny Shit Friday

Hey my lovely internet friends.  Here is the shit that cracked my ass up this week.

Hope it gives ya a smile.

And that's all for this week, folks.  If you like any of these images/vids, feel free to take them and share them.  No credit necessary.

Mostly 'cuz I just stole them myself, but also, the world needs as much laughter as it can get.

Love yo' faces.

Happy VD!

Valentine's Day, of course.  Not that other VD.  Ya whores.

So, I'm sure you're all dying to know how the date went.  And I think it went very well.

We met up at a local bar, which is a great little homey type spot, for a couple drinks.  It was about 8:30 when we got there and the bar was pretty empty.

I guess all the regular sinners stayed in thanks to Ash Wednesday.

Not us, obv.

We sat there for a couple hours, just talking, laughing, chatting with the (very nice) bartender.  Who was from WA.  I love meeting fellow Washingtonians.

Anyway, back to Tall and Yummy.  We talked about all the usual stuff.  Work, sports, hobbies, the Pope, travel, etc.

It was really just a fun, laidback time.  At about 11:30 we called it a night and he drove me home, which wasn't far.

And, well.. I gotta keep some things private, no?

Guess we'll see where it goes.

Oh, and because I'm sure someone will ask.. No, I haven't progressed on that one resolution.

Not yet, anyway.

Date tonight

Hello, darlings.

I'm sure you've missed me as much as I missed you.  Sure, it's only been 2 days since my last post but that's like 3 weeks in internet time.

Anyway, this will just be a quickie.  I'm dashing off to meet a very handsome man that's asked me to get drinks with him.

Yep.. I have a date with a new guy.  A very tall, very yummy guy.

;)

Weekend Recap

Did everyone get their Mardi Gras partying in this weekend?  Or are you waiting until tomorrow to let it all hang out?

And I do mean all.. rawr.

Actually, I'll be taking it easy, as far as I'm planning.  But my friend M and I did head out last Saturday to take in some fun Mardi Gras music.

For which I braved the snow and the ice and the cold.  In flats.  And a polka dot skirt.

Fashion is pain, right?

Hm.. I'm sure I've gotten that wrong.

Nevermind.  Anyway, we had a ginormo snowstorm on Friday.  Which, if you're like me, was glorious.  I adore the snow.  We got something like 8 inches or so.

Which can never be a bad thing.  Amirite?  Or amirite?

I snapped a few pics (of course).

Here we are early in the night.  Lila checking out the subway grates.

You can thank Instagram for the coloring of this pic.

This was around 3 AM when I went out to play in the snow before
all the NYers messed it up.

Trying to not freeze to death.  

I'm short.  That snow is up to my shins.

And another Instagram photo.  

After I finally got some sense to come in out of the cold, I went to bed.  The next evening, I met up with M at BAMcafe (after I got horribly lost, but that's neither here nor there) to catch some live Funk music played by the Revolutionary Snake Ensemble.

Free admission, live music, men in sparkly jackets and strong drinks.  What's not to love?

It was fantastic and I had so much fun.

Before the show started, M and I snagged a couch.

Lights down.  Better to show off the jackets with.

I'm sure you're familiar with my love of all things shiny.

Seriously, the only way this band could be more Mardi Gras was if
they were flashing tits and collecting beads.

I'm definitely going to hit up the BAMcafe again.  They put on all different kinds of shows from music to dance to comedy.  

After the show, M and I decided we weren't yet done drinking (it was only 11:30) so we walked over a few blocks to grab some snacks and more alcohol at this great bar called The Alchemy.  Another place I can't recommend enough (grab an order of spare ribs, yum!).

Finally at about 2, we called it a night and headed home.  Because, really.. after all that, what else is there left to do?

2 Cent Saturday.. er, Sunday

My $0.02 today.

The more ways we invent to communicate, the less we actually talk to each other.

Seriously, with all of our technology today, we have about 100 different ways to contact each other.  And being in touch so easily has pretty much stopped us from actually speaking to each other.

About 1/3 of all my text responses are either "ah" "cool" or "lol".  

Which generally means jack.

We no longer choose our words carefully, like those in the past did.  It's so easy to say, "wait, I meant.."

Is this a bad thing?  I dunno.  I'm certainly guilty of it.  And it's so much easier to just throw out an "omg!" then actually say, and have to articulate, what I'm really thinking or feeling.

I wonder what our ancestors, who could only communicate by letters, and usually waited for weeks for responses, would think of how we speak today?

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.

What do you think?  Do you think that our verbal/writing skills have suffered or benefited with our easy communication?

Funny Shit Friday

Yay Friday!

In addition to being the first day it's socially OK to get shitty drunk, I've decided to start a new series!

Wait, is that the term?  Series?

I don't know.  This blogging stuff still confuses me for the most part.

So, I'm calling it Funny Shit Friday and it's going to be a collection of, well, funny shit, basically.  Stuff from around the internets that caught my eye and made me laugh.

Some might be old stuff that you (hopefully) haven't seen yet, some new things, vids, gifs, etc.  

Not sure what else could qualify as "etc" but thought I'd add it just in case.

Alright, on to the funny shit.


I'm putting this first, because it's likely to get stuck in your head.  Apparently, if you like it being stuck in your head, you can buy it on iTunes.  Check it out on YouTube for info on that, you weirdo.

Dumb Ways To Die

Be careful when texting a new love interest,

iPhone specifically loves fucking with you.

This one really has to be watched until the end.. 

Goodbye to the Normals

Alright, so that's it for now.  Loved?  Hated?  Get the fuck off the internet?

Let me know in the comments.  :)

XOXO

I yam what I yam!

And unfortunately, today I am making like Popeye.  

I wish I could say that meant I was eating a lot of spinach and beating up bad guys, but alas, I can't.

My right eye was bothering me a ton last night.  I thought something might have gotten on my contact, so I tossed it and put in a new one.  Apparently, that didn't help because somehow I scratched my eye in my sleep.

So now I'm walking around looking like the Sailor Man himself, with one eye half closed.

Me today, with less pipe and more vagina.

I'm not nearly as sexy as Popeye though, so I can't carry off the one-eyed look.  

At least now I have an excuse to chase my dogs while yelling "I'm strong to the finitch, 'cus I eats me spinitch!"

I have no excuse for the rest of the time though.  But at least I can milk it for all it's worth today.

Another nighttime vid.

Got a new webcam, thought I'd test it out by talking about my weekend.

Also, thuper thpecial appearance by Lila the Pitty.  So, it's a must watch.

Or something.

Here it is. :)

Also, I hate the stupid thumbnails.  Why do all of them make me look like a mentally challenged poodle?  I don't know.

Thanks for nothing, YouTube.

2 Cent Saturday

Just my $0.02 for today.

Musical artists today don't make music.  They make songs.

Not all music artists, of course.  Just say.. oh, about everyone in the Top 40 Pop Songs.  

Them.  

There's nothing wrong with that, of course.  They make songs that they release to the public for them to buy and make their bank accounts bigger.

The songs themselves have no meaning.  They may have a theme or a subject.  But it doesn't actually mean anything to the singer.

Hell, most of them don't even write the songs.

Anyhooters.  That's just my opinion, of course.  There's nothing wrong if you're a big fan of pop today.  

Unless you like Justin Bieber.

Then I'm impressed you've managed to turn on your computer, much less navigated it to here.  Good job, little buddy!  Look at you go!

So.  That's my 2 cent Saturday.

Late night video

I've liked the idea of making YouTube videos for a while now, but I never got around to doing it.  

Probably for good reason, as you'll see.

But, being bored, I thought I'd give it a shot.  I wasn't actually planning on uploading any as the few I did tonight were just practice vids.  But then I figured, why not?  

I mean, they're bound to get worse.  Might as well get used to it.

So, here's my first vid.  It's mostly me just kinda talking.  Then I went on to how I got to NYC and a brief summary of the places I've lived while here.

If you actually watch it, I'll love you forever.  Free Handy J if we ever meet. 

Pinky swears.

Sorry that it's kinda lame.  

XOXO.