Thursday, May 16, 2013

The post where I bragplain..

OK, so, obviously I'm not becoming a nun.  I like boys too much and I think my piercings and love of cosmetics would scare the other nuns.  

Which means, I'm still at it in regards to dating.

They last couple dates (barring the vomiting guy) were internet dates.  Both from OkCupid.  

Now, I love the idea of internet dating.  It's just like online shopping!  From the comfort of my couch I get to peruse all the merchandise, read the ad on it, check out the details and add to my cart.  And if I don't like it after trying it on in person, I just send it back.  

What's not to love?

Problem is, sites like OkCupid (which I quite like, actually) and Plenty of Freaks Fish are free.  Which brings out tens of thousands in my area and match preferences alone.  The first day on Plenty of Felons Fish, I received over 100 messages.  I've been on it 3 weeks now and 1023 people have clicked the little "I would love to meet you" button.

Granted, that's not that impressive, considering the source.  Shameless plug in 3..2..1..

Seriously, just check out my other blog Bad Dating Messages for proof.

But it *is* overwhelming.  OkCupid isn't much better.

So.  I bit the bullet and decided to actually pay to shop and joined eHarmony.  

Actually, I really don't know why I joined eHarmony instead of Match.  In my head, I guess eHarm just *seems* a little less serious than Match.  Like, Match is where you go if you are totally ready to get married.  Which.  Ha.  Haha.  HAHAHAHA.  Yeah.  No.

Anyway, so I joined eHarm, thinking.. Hey, smaller pool of people.  Much pickier with matches.  Less wiggle room.  A lot less freak-os looking for booty calls.  This sounds so much more manageable!  Why the hell didn't I do this before?

Quick note on how eHarm works.  "Messages" are how users communicate.  The first step is 5 Quick Questions.  If someone is interesting, you send them 5 Quick Questions (picked from a list of prewritten Qs by eHarm or write your own, multiple choice answers).  If they like you, they'll answer and send back 5 Qs of their own.  Then Makes or Breaks: 10 musts that you have to have in a person, 10 deal breaks (humor, strong character, loyalty.. cheating, anger, rudeness).  After that, you move to Dig Deeper.. 3 "deep" questions.  And if after that you both like what you see, you move to email.  You can also send a request to skip all that and move right to email, if you like.

So that's how it works.

First day.. 6 matches.  Great!  And, oh look.  3 people have sent me 5 Quick Questions.  Awesome!  Hm.. Not sure I like these guys.  OK, pass on the questions.  Eh.. These matches aren't doing it for me either.  Oh well.  I'll check tomorrow.

Second day.. Great!  6 more matches!  Oh, wow.  15 people sent 5QQs.. Hm.  OK, I like these 2 matches.  And these 4 guys from 5QQs will get answers back and Makes or Breaks. Wow.  OK, clear out the inbox.  See you guys tomorrow!

Third day.. Oh.  13 more matches.  And *26* people sent 5QQs?  Wow.  Oh, and the 4 guys from yesterday all sent Makes or Breaks and 3 Dig Deeper questions.  Whoa..  I really wasn't expecting all this.. I thought these sites were supposed to give you a smaller pool to pick from.  OK, lets get to it.. clear out the inbox.

Fourth day.. Busy, didn't have a chance to sign in.

Fifth day.. Still busy, still didn't have a chance to sign in.

Sixth day.. I shit you guys not.  26 more matches.  170 5QQs.




Seriously, you guys.  How am I supposed to do this?

I thought paying for this shit was supposed to make it easier??

Somebody.. please hold me.

Sigh.. Now to go clear out the inbox.

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